The day I got my GCSE's

 

Predicted grades

I was supposed to do my GCSE's during the first lockdown. However, unfortunately, I didn't.  It was weird during the whole lockdown I wasn't scared.

I didn't even think about it unless my parents asked. Although I did have to think about what A levels I wanted to take, that's about it, thinking of my future.

Anyways, I think it is important to say that the day before I cried. It's embarrassing but I was unaware that I was crying over my GCSE's until my mum said it was going to be ok.

When I woke up, my parents were checking if I was ok.

On days like this, in my head, I build the day up so much and then when I wake up and I feel normal and I'm like 'oh'.

So, I think if you are young and you are expecting days like this don't be scared cause nothing is going to happen. Like nothing.

I got ready and the TV was on BBC One.

There were people my age talking about their grades. They were all so positive I was relaxed. I don't know if that's bad that I relax so easily. But if you haven't noticed I have an 'it is what it is' mindset.

This means most of the time I don't care - not that I don't care but I'm unbothered. It's bad. 

My mum and I got in the car.

We drove there and the adrenaline thing happened again (you may have to read 'Exams during a worldwide pandemic to understand').

We finally got to my school and there was a letter I had received previously.

I had to pick up my results from a part of my school and then have a meeting with the senior leaders (important teachers) about my A level results.

The place I had to get my results was in a gazebo on one of the lawns. I think it was an attempt to keep people apart. There was a girl on her phone at one of the benches. My mum walked halfway with me and then I went to get my results.

I went to my mum and looked at her. She told me to open it and I did.

I opened it and looked straight at computing, something I had been struggling with. Then I looked at maths, something I also was struggling with and then to English something I just wasn't paying attention to at all - like all year it's kind've weird I was just focusing on the subjects that I was really struggling with. But anyways I had passed everything.

Then I said 'oh mummy' in like a posh voice. Now I have never said that before in my life so I don't know what possed me but she was like 'oh did you not pass'.

And I looked at her and I was like 'no... I passed everything.' She smiled and hugged me. I forgot to say that my baby brother was there with us but he was there.

We went to the hall because well, I don't actually know but we went there. I saw my friends who I hadn't seen in 7 months. It was weird because I am used to seeing them every day.

They were like 'have you got your jumper(leavers jumpers) yet' and I was like 'no'.

They told me where it was and I went to get it. I went in and my head of year teacher was there. She asked me how I was and other things.

She gave me my jumper and asked if she could see my grades and I was like sure. By the way, I was proud because I didn't think I would pass. She just looked at them and gave me a look then gave it back to me. 

And I was mad. Thinking 'who is this woman, I never spoke to her the whole year and she wants to be rude'. I took it and left. We had some time before my appointment and we went to a cafe. Cause my mum and me always go to cafes. 

I was worried about the time. 

I get worried about being late and I don't know why but I hate being late. Like I used to get to my tutor half an hour early - that's embarrassing and I would just be sitting there.

We get back to my school in the hall where the meetings were being held.

We were waiting for the teacher to say my name. We didn't know what teacher we would get but I wanted the English one because she is nicer.

However, we had the rude one. She said my name and I had to hold in my disappointment. We went towards her and she led us to her table and we sat down. She asked me some questions, I don't really remember because it was a while ago but yh.

Then she was like 'do you know what A levels you want to take'. And I started to panic. Anyways I said the only two options I knew I wanted to take and she said 'think about it and come back tomorrow'. 

My mum and I left the hall. We sat outside and had a conversation about it again - I don't really remember the conversation.

One of my friends came up to me and we had a conversation about our grades. Unfortunately, she didn't pass everything. I told her it was ok but didn't pay much attention to it because I was stressed about my A level choices. My mum pulled me up on it and was like 'you weren't that sensitive to the situation'. 

I felt really bad and asked my friend if I was rude. When we got back from school. 

But that was about it. It was weird and I am worried about my A levels because I am not getting out of that one. However, I do believe that I can do it. So, I am not that worried.